Saving Your Marriage - Things To Help
When a marriage experiences challenges, there are many things that can cause the difficulties. Some of these things are lack of communication; lack of interest in what the other person's involved with; low self-esteem; infidelity, and so it goes on - the list can be extensive. Yet positively, there are many things that can be done to get a marriage back on the right path.
Many couples experience relationship difficulties - recognise from the outset, you're not alone. If you are experiencing a marriage with problems, recognise straight away that your marriage CAN be saved. What's important to be clear on and identify is the fact that you both really want to save it.
If you both want it you can find ways to work through the issues and end up with good, healthy balanced relationships, often stronger than before the issues occurred because of their new ability to learn how to see things from each other's perspective. You may be at a place now that you're eager to learn how to save a marriage.
When a marriage is in trouble there are several things you should immediately focus upon that may help things begin to turn around for you and your partner.
Here's some ideas for you to think about if you're finding yourself in a marriage with some issues...
A) Emotional Support - When people are trying to discover how to save a marriage, many times they may not realise that the core to the problems are down to the lack of emotional support from one or both of the partners. Try to start supporting your partner emotionally, in order to make him or her know that you care about whatever it is he or she may happen to be going through.
B) Patience - It's really key to adopt patience with your partner. Even if he or she is trying the limits of your patience, or is not patient with you, try to stay calm. Getting upset, angry or irrational will only cause the issues to get stronger and really won't help matters.
2) Communication - Communication is not only important in marriage, it's important in any relationship if it's to work over the long-term. Both partners need to communicate their needs, wants, likes, dislikes and anything else they feel needs to be talked about. Without constant open lines of communication, things can go seriously wrong very quickly in a marriage.
Emotional support, patience and communication are all important in their own way and, when not present, will all contribute to the breakdown in a marriage. Yet when these attributes are present and worked at, can all each help to revive a flagging relationship.
Do not expect immediate results from implementing any of the above. Once your marriage is in a bit of a 'grey patch', it's going to take some time and effort from both partners to get it back on the right path. The above tips will prove helpful in rebuilding a marriage but only for those couples who are committed to their marriage. However, if there seem to be issues that cannot be resolved on your own, then it may be time to seek out the services of a professional marriage counsellor. Time is a great asset in rebuilding problems in a relationship - remember that it takes time to get back to the joy you once experienced, so give it time.
----------------------------------------------------
Steve & Louise have experienced the relationships problems many face at some point, and in an effort to find answers to their problems, they spent months researching the vast array of relationship help and advice products, identifying the good and the not-so-good. Read their independent and unbiased reports: http://www.Relationship-Reports.com - Facts, Product Info & Customer Feedback
Many couples experience relationship difficulties - recognise from the outset, you're not alone. If you are experiencing a marriage with problems, recognise straight away that your marriage CAN be saved. What's important to be clear on and identify is the fact that you both really want to save it.
If you both want it you can find ways to work through the issues and end up with good, healthy balanced relationships, often stronger than before the issues occurred because of their new ability to learn how to see things from each other's perspective. You may be at a place now that you're eager to learn how to save a marriage.
When a marriage is in trouble there are several things you should immediately focus upon that may help things begin to turn around for you and your partner.
Here's some ideas for you to think about if you're finding yourself in a marriage with some issues...
A) Emotional Support - When people are trying to discover how to save a marriage, many times they may not realise that the core to the problems are down to the lack of emotional support from one or both of the partners. Try to start supporting your partner emotionally, in order to make him or her know that you care about whatever it is he or she may happen to be going through.
B) Patience - It's really key to adopt patience with your partner. Even if he or she is trying the limits of your patience, or is not patient with you, try to stay calm. Getting upset, angry or irrational will only cause the issues to get stronger and really won't help matters.
2) Communication - Communication is not only important in marriage, it's important in any relationship if it's to work over the long-term. Both partners need to communicate their needs, wants, likes, dislikes and anything else they feel needs to be talked about. Without constant open lines of communication, things can go seriously wrong very quickly in a marriage.
Emotional support, patience and communication are all important in their own way and, when not present, will all contribute to the breakdown in a marriage. Yet when these attributes are present and worked at, can all each help to revive a flagging relationship.
Do not expect immediate results from implementing any of the above. Once your marriage is in a bit of a 'grey patch', it's going to take some time and effort from both partners to get it back on the right path. The above tips will prove helpful in rebuilding a marriage but only for those couples who are committed to their marriage. However, if there seem to be issues that cannot be resolved on your own, then it may be time to seek out the services of a professional marriage counsellor. Time is a great asset in rebuilding problems in a relationship - remember that it takes time to get back to the joy you once experienced, so give it time.
----------------------------------------------------
Steve & Louise have experienced the relationships problems many face at some point, and in an effort to find answers to their problems, they spent months researching the vast array of relationship help and advice products, identifying the good and the not-so-good. Read their independent and unbiased reports: http://www.Relationship-Reports.com - Facts, Product Info & Customer Feedback
Three-Step Sanity Check for Communicating Change With Your Kids
When I was divorced, I discussed major moves with my ex that involved both her and our daughters. When I moved from my first apartment to a house, I told her I was moving and what the new contact information would be. When I put the girls into a private school, I talked it over with her first. When they had to go to a dentist and I needed to find one closer to school so they could walk there while I was working, I let her know which one they would be going to. I thought communication was important for the sake of our children.
That is one aspect of family living after divorce that has to be addressed: communicating changes. Your ex is not the only one who needs good communication, however. Your kids need it too, especially if you are the parent with whom the children live. In corporate America at one of the companies I worked for, when an executive decision was made, the Senior Staff ran that decision through what they called a Sanity Check:
1. Does this make sense?
2. Who else needs to know?
3. Who will be affected by this decision?
You might consider adopting these three questions when you are making a decision in your life and the lives of your children now that you are divorced. If you can answer "Yes" to "Does this make sense?" does that mean it makes sense only to you? Have you run it by a mentor or parent or wise friend? Would an adult friend at work give you the green light? I know we all think that our decisions are like crystal, but others might not see the same clarity you do. If you run your decision by others, they might help you shine more light on it.
Who else in the life of you, your children, and your ex's family and friends needs to be taken into consideration? Have you informed that set of grandparents? Does this involve the child's school in any way? Have you told the school? What about your childcare provider? Will your decision affect them? It's nice to give as many people as you can proper notice so they can weave the change into their own plans?
Who will be affected by this decision? Is it a good affect or not? Universal good means the greatest good for the greatest number and I hope you'll operate under that auspice. How will the child be affected? Since their good is tantamount, consideration about their good should be high up on the list.
When you find yourself planning major moves that will alter your life and the lives of your kids when you're divorced, I don't think it's wise to run these ideas by children under the age of 12. They don't process change easily and they may still be recovering from the changes forced on them by the divorce, so if you can do your processing out of sight or earshot from them, it would be a great kindness. You can plan when and how to tell them after you reach a decision. I always thought that communication with my ex was important though and worked to make that happen for the sake of my kids.
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
That is one aspect of family living after divorce that has to be addressed: communicating changes. Your ex is not the only one who needs good communication, however. Your kids need it too, especially if you are the parent with whom the children live. In corporate America at one of the companies I worked for, when an executive decision was made, the Senior Staff ran that decision through what they called a Sanity Check:
1. Does this make sense?
2. Who else needs to know?
3. Who will be affected by this decision?
You might consider adopting these three questions when you are making a decision in your life and the lives of your children now that you are divorced. If you can answer "Yes" to "Does this make sense?" does that mean it makes sense only to you? Have you run it by a mentor or parent or wise friend? Would an adult friend at work give you the green light? I know we all think that our decisions are like crystal, but others might not see the same clarity you do. If you run your decision by others, they might help you shine more light on it.
Who else in the life of you, your children, and your ex's family and friends needs to be taken into consideration? Have you informed that set of grandparents? Does this involve the child's school in any way? Have you told the school? What about your childcare provider? Will your decision affect them? It's nice to give as many people as you can proper notice so they can weave the change into their own plans?
Who will be affected by this decision? Is it a good affect or not? Universal good means the greatest good for the greatest number and I hope you'll operate under that auspice. How will the child be affected? Since their good is tantamount, consideration about their good should be high up on the list.
When you find yourself planning major moves that will alter your life and the lives of your kids when you're divorced, I don't think it's wise to run these ideas by children under the age of 12. They don't process change easily and they may still be recovering from the changes forced on them by the divorce, so if you can do your processing out of sight or earshot from them, it would be a great kindness. You can plan when and how to tell them after you reach a decision. I always thought that communication with my ex was important though and worked to make that happen for the sake of my kids.
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
Help Kids To Express Their Feelings When You Are Getting A Divorce
You've gotten a divorce. It might feel like the end of the world for you, but you do have all the years of your life where you learned a few coping skills to lean back on. Your children don't have those years of experience, and your divorce may be seen as one huge trauma by them. Life isn't as they have experienced it. One of their parents is gone from their daily life.
They will eventually learn to cope, and here are some tips for you to use immediately to help them get their feelings outside of their minds so the coping can begin.
1. Initiate Play With Them. Children love to play and in their games, they can be encouraged via your questions to tell you how they are feeling. Be considerate and accepting. Don't try to audit or correct their words. Just listen.
2. Do Artwork Together. If you provide your child with crayons, paper, paste and other materials, you can do an art project with the theme: Mommy and Daddy's Divorce and (child's name) Role in It. Ask gentle questions and listen up for their answers. Frequently their feeling is hiding behind their words.
3. Talk About It. This works best for older children. You can ask a very leading open-ended question - one that cannot be answered by Yes or No - and then let the child do the talking. You listen and ask more questions. Don't interject your opinion unless he asks a specific question only you can answer.
4. Read Books Together. Find books appropriate for your child's age about divorce and ask questions about his feelings as you read the book together.
5. Name Your Own Feelings. Your child might not know yet how to express the feeling that he is feeling about your divorce. You can share how it makes you feel and this way, he'll learn to identify his own feelings.
6. Good and Bad Ways To Deal With Feelings. Find family-type magazines and look through them together with your child to discuss the pictures that exemplify feelings. Point them out to him and ask if he's ever felt that way about your divorce.
7. Write A Story Together. Allow him to tell the story as he does for sharings at school. He dictates. You write, with mouth zipped. Just write. Later you can go back and ask questions about the feelings he talked about. You can ask where he felt the feeling in his body and how did it feel there?
8. Create a Puppet Show. You can each play a role, but let him choose which role he wants to play. That alone could tell you a lot. You be the other parent and ask questions about his feelings as you play.
9. Make A Scrapbook About the Divorce. This is a bit dramatic, but it just might be effective for some children. You can sit and watch as he does it, or you can just be in the same room for emotional support. When he's done, say "Tell me about your drawing." Ask feeling questions when he tells you about it.
10. Show Empathy for his plight. Children have lost a lot of control because their parents decided to divorce. You can tell him you realize he might not have made the same decision. If you offer him choices about daily doings once the divorce decision has been made, you can help him regain a sense of control.
11. Physical Activity. This is a great way to let kids run off pent up emotions. Physical activity will allow them to get rid of any tension they might be feeling and once that's let go of, they will be much better able to cope with the next thing that lands in their laps.
12. Provide Continuity. Divorce is an enormous change for a child and children don't like change. If you can keep his room the same; mealtime the same; household routine the same; homework time the same - whatever you can do to maintain continuity, it will help your child unfold his coping skills and handle his emotions so much better.
Your children come first and they are worth every effort you can make for their best regard. They will learn soon enough that your divorce is not the end of the world for them and that you've made every effort to provide the best for them.
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
They will eventually learn to cope, and here are some tips for you to use immediately to help them get their feelings outside of their minds so the coping can begin.
1. Initiate Play With Them. Children love to play and in their games, they can be encouraged via your questions to tell you how they are feeling. Be considerate and accepting. Don't try to audit or correct their words. Just listen.
2. Do Artwork Together. If you provide your child with crayons, paper, paste and other materials, you can do an art project with the theme: Mommy and Daddy's Divorce and (child's name) Role in It. Ask gentle questions and listen up for their answers. Frequently their feeling is hiding behind their words.
3. Talk About It. This works best for older children. You can ask a very leading open-ended question - one that cannot be answered by Yes or No - and then let the child do the talking. You listen and ask more questions. Don't interject your opinion unless he asks a specific question only you can answer.
4. Read Books Together. Find books appropriate for your child's age about divorce and ask questions about his feelings as you read the book together.
5. Name Your Own Feelings. Your child might not know yet how to express the feeling that he is feeling about your divorce. You can share how it makes you feel and this way, he'll learn to identify his own feelings.
6. Good and Bad Ways To Deal With Feelings. Find family-type magazines and look through them together with your child to discuss the pictures that exemplify feelings. Point them out to him and ask if he's ever felt that way about your divorce.
7. Write A Story Together. Allow him to tell the story as he does for sharings at school. He dictates. You write, with mouth zipped. Just write. Later you can go back and ask questions about the feelings he talked about. You can ask where he felt the feeling in his body and how did it feel there?
8. Create a Puppet Show. You can each play a role, but let him choose which role he wants to play. That alone could tell you a lot. You be the other parent and ask questions about his feelings as you play.
9. Make A Scrapbook About the Divorce. This is a bit dramatic, but it just might be effective for some children. You can sit and watch as he does it, or you can just be in the same room for emotional support. When he's done, say "Tell me about your drawing." Ask feeling questions when he tells you about it.
10. Show Empathy for his plight. Children have lost a lot of control because their parents decided to divorce. You can tell him you realize he might not have made the same decision. If you offer him choices about daily doings once the divorce decision has been made, you can help him regain a sense of control.
11. Physical Activity. This is a great way to let kids run off pent up emotions. Physical activity will allow them to get rid of any tension they might be feeling and once that's let go of, they will be much better able to cope with the next thing that lands in their laps.
12. Provide Continuity. Divorce is an enormous change for a child and children don't like change. If you can keep his room the same; mealtime the same; household routine the same; homework time the same - whatever you can do to maintain continuity, it will help your child unfold his coping skills and handle his emotions so much better.
Your children come first and they are worth every effort you can make for their best regard. They will learn soon enough that your divorce is not the end of the world for them and that you've made every effort to provide the best for them.
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
5 Devious Devices You Should Quit Using to Punish Your Ex
Now that you are divorced, are you using rigid scheduling tactics to punish your ex and decrease his time with his kids? Do you pack clothing for your children's overnight stay that you know will make him/her angry? Do you deliberately not show up for events with your children when you've said you would? Do you find this beneficial for the children? Do you treat your ex's new choice of partner in a disapproving way?
Some people would say your Inner Child is in control doing all these things. I would say that your inner child is a bit of a brat and needs to grow up. I'm going to discuss several ways this punishment might be happening and some ideas about quitting it. I'm going to ask you to remember that, whether you wanted this divorce or not, your kids certainly didn't want it. So now, you've got to put their needs first and give up on your grousing.
1. SPITEFULNESS. This attitude shows malicious ill will and a desire to hurt. It also shows that you're terribly hurt and you want them to know how much you are hurting. I'd like to suggest that spitefulness really isn't making anyone feel any bit better for it: you don't feel better; your ex doesn't feel better (or understand your hurt); and the children are uncomfortable around you when you do it. Basically, when you use spite, you hurt yourself and your children even more! I'd recommend that when you want to do something spiteful, you ask yourself "What good can come to me or my children from this?" If there is no good accruing, please don't do it. Try using words to express how hurt you are.
2. REFUSING TO MAKE CHANGES. The court has set up the custody agreement. This is IT and there IS NO DEVIATING! Really? Never? Come on now - there are always circumstances where plans have to be changed. Flexibility is a good thing. Reasonableness is a good thing. Cooperation is a good thing. I realize that there might be times when your ex simply doesn't want to hold up his end of the bargain and expects you to always be the one to change. I also know that you know the difference between that circumstance and a real reason to change. Be generous. Your kids will appreciate it.
3. LETTING YOUR KIDS DO THE PUNISHING. Our children are brilliant - all of them. They know exactly how to get inside of us, how to get on our good side, how to get what they want. If you (God forbid) have told them about how you'd like to punish their mother for her evil ways, and they begin to do it for you through stubbornness, bad mouthing, refusal, etc, you lose! You've taught them that it's okay to be vindictive and mean. Is this really how you'd like your kids to turn out? If you see them do this punishing, have a chat with them and discourage this behavior.
4. ALIENATION OF AFFECTION. Were you the dumper or the dumpee? If you were the dumpee, I'd hazard a guess that you have lost all feelings of affection toward your ex spouse, and now, you'd really like to make her feel the same way you do, so you withhold all affection from her. Am I right? In civil law, alienation of affection used to be a great reason for a divorce - one of you was taken out of the marriage contract by a third other. Look. Let's not make this about blame. Let's not return malice with vindication. It's okay to acknowledge your hurt over being dumped. I have a question for you? Just how long do you intend to continue to foster this hurt? It reminds me of the man crawling across the desert. "I'm so thirsty. I'm so thirsty" he wailed. He came to an oasis and drank. As he crawled out the other side of the oasis, he wailed "I was so thirsty. I was so thirsty." Like that.
5. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER: You are so angry your ex left you and took up with "her." I have a friend who, knowing what a sap her husband makes out of women, calls the new woman "True Love." So, because you're so angry at him, you tell your kids that you are their mommy and they don't have to listen to her. Well, of course they do. If they go to their dad's home and she lives with him, it's her home too and she's got a right to establish reasonable boundaries. (Unreasonable boundaries is not the subject of this paragraph.) Loving kindness begets loving kindness and isn't this what you'd like your children to experience? Try sitting down the three of you together (you, him, and True Love) and work out something that is beneficial for your children. Children are wrenched apart with adult squabbling, so quit it.
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
Some people would say your Inner Child is in control doing all these things. I would say that your inner child is a bit of a brat and needs to grow up. I'm going to discuss several ways this punishment might be happening and some ideas about quitting it. I'm going to ask you to remember that, whether you wanted this divorce or not, your kids certainly didn't want it. So now, you've got to put their needs first and give up on your grousing.
1. SPITEFULNESS. This attitude shows malicious ill will and a desire to hurt. It also shows that you're terribly hurt and you want them to know how much you are hurting. I'd like to suggest that spitefulness really isn't making anyone feel any bit better for it: you don't feel better; your ex doesn't feel better (or understand your hurt); and the children are uncomfortable around you when you do it. Basically, when you use spite, you hurt yourself and your children even more! I'd recommend that when you want to do something spiteful, you ask yourself "What good can come to me or my children from this?" If there is no good accruing, please don't do it. Try using words to express how hurt you are.
2. REFUSING TO MAKE CHANGES. The court has set up the custody agreement. This is IT and there IS NO DEVIATING! Really? Never? Come on now - there are always circumstances where plans have to be changed. Flexibility is a good thing. Reasonableness is a good thing. Cooperation is a good thing. I realize that there might be times when your ex simply doesn't want to hold up his end of the bargain and expects you to always be the one to change. I also know that you know the difference between that circumstance and a real reason to change. Be generous. Your kids will appreciate it.
3. LETTING YOUR KIDS DO THE PUNISHING. Our children are brilliant - all of them. They know exactly how to get inside of us, how to get on our good side, how to get what they want. If you (God forbid) have told them about how you'd like to punish their mother for her evil ways, and they begin to do it for you through stubbornness, bad mouthing, refusal, etc, you lose! You've taught them that it's okay to be vindictive and mean. Is this really how you'd like your kids to turn out? If you see them do this punishing, have a chat with them and discourage this behavior.
4. ALIENATION OF AFFECTION. Were you the dumper or the dumpee? If you were the dumpee, I'd hazard a guess that you have lost all feelings of affection toward your ex spouse, and now, you'd really like to make her feel the same way you do, so you withhold all affection from her. Am I right? In civil law, alienation of affection used to be a great reason for a divorce - one of you was taken out of the marriage contract by a third other. Look. Let's not make this about blame. Let's not return malice with vindication. It's okay to acknowledge your hurt over being dumped. I have a question for you? Just how long do you intend to continue to foster this hurt? It reminds me of the man crawling across the desert. "I'm so thirsty. I'm so thirsty" he wailed. He came to an oasis and drank. As he crawled out the other side of the oasis, he wailed "I was so thirsty. I was so thirsty." Like that.
5. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER: You are so angry your ex left you and took up with "her." I have a friend who, knowing what a sap her husband makes out of women, calls the new woman "True Love." So, because you're so angry at him, you tell your kids that you are their mommy and they don't have to listen to her. Well, of course they do. If they go to their dad's home and she lives with him, it's her home too and she's got a right to establish reasonable boundaries. (Unreasonable boundaries is not the subject of this paragraph.) Loving kindness begets loving kindness and isn't this what you'd like your children to experience? Try sitting down the three of you together (you, him, and True Love) and work out something that is beneficial for your children. Children are wrenched apart with adult squabbling, so quit it.
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
Learn To Do Home Repairs Yourself
When you are a newly single mother recently divorced, and you're still sorting through all that needs to be handled, and when you don't have the money to pay someone else, this is a great time to learn to do home repairs yourself. You, too, can become Josephine the Plumber - for those of you who remember those commercials for Comet Cleanser.
1. One of the best ways to learn about home maintenance is to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity projects. You'll be taught how to swing a hammer, use a saw or use power tools. And you'll be with others who are also learning how, so any discomfort you might feel spreads around among the bunch of you.
2. There is a great site for teaching women how to do home projects (they have over 200 projects currently posted) at www.BeJane.com.
3. Make friends with your local Do-It Center or Home Depot employees. Tell them what you want to do and see if the store might be holding a how-to class. If not, ask the department personnel to explain what you need to do, and what you need to purchase to get that job done.
4. The next part happens when you arrive on your home front with everything you purchased and a feeling of overwhelm about how to begin. A tip that's gotten me to the end of a project is to ask myself at the beginning: "Can you see ONE step to take? Can you take that one?" The next one always shows up. It takes willingness, perseverance and bit of courage to begin, persevere through all the steps and then enjoy your handicraft.
5. Go to used book stores and purchase How-To books. In this day of the internet, all of those old How-To Encyclopedias can be had for a song, and then as the projects show up, you'll be at the ready to dig in there and do it.
6. Be creative. I knew a lady who wanted to replace a garbage disposal. It's kind of tough to hold it up underneath the sink and tighten it down from above, so this very creative lady got the jack from her car (you do know how to use a jack, right?) and jacked the disposal in place while she worked on it from above. Clever girl!
7. Keep all your tools together in an easy to carry container. Plastic cat liter containers are great and if you're handy sewing, you can make an apron with pockets for it to hold tools on the inside and on the outside.
8. Watch the television shows about Home Improvement. You can learn a lot from watching designers re-do homes with the help of their talented handymen on HGTV. Those fellows have great tips for making the jobs easier.
9. There are toolkits designed for women. Frankly, I cannot for the life of me see the difference except for color. Functionality is the most important benefit in a tool. Color does not improve functionality.
When you get a divorce, it's often a call to unfold more of yourself, and for single mothers, home repair is just one area. Do research on the internet. The internet is today's library and contains up the minute advice on how to accomplish any project. You can if you think you can!
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
1. One of the best ways to learn about home maintenance is to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity projects. You'll be taught how to swing a hammer, use a saw or use power tools. And you'll be with others who are also learning how, so any discomfort you might feel spreads around among the bunch of you.
2. There is a great site for teaching women how to do home projects (they have over 200 projects currently posted) at www.BeJane.com.
3. Make friends with your local Do-It Center or Home Depot employees. Tell them what you want to do and see if the store might be holding a how-to class. If not, ask the department personnel to explain what you need to do, and what you need to purchase to get that job done.
4. The next part happens when you arrive on your home front with everything you purchased and a feeling of overwhelm about how to begin. A tip that's gotten me to the end of a project is to ask myself at the beginning: "Can you see ONE step to take? Can you take that one?" The next one always shows up. It takes willingness, perseverance and bit of courage to begin, persevere through all the steps and then enjoy your handicraft.
5. Go to used book stores and purchase How-To books. In this day of the internet, all of those old How-To Encyclopedias can be had for a song, and then as the projects show up, you'll be at the ready to dig in there and do it.
6. Be creative. I knew a lady who wanted to replace a garbage disposal. It's kind of tough to hold it up underneath the sink and tighten it down from above, so this very creative lady got the jack from her car (you do know how to use a jack, right?) and jacked the disposal in place while she worked on it from above. Clever girl!
7. Keep all your tools together in an easy to carry container. Plastic cat liter containers are great and if you're handy sewing, you can make an apron with pockets for it to hold tools on the inside and on the outside.
8. Watch the television shows about Home Improvement. You can learn a lot from watching designers re-do homes with the help of their talented handymen on HGTV. Those fellows have great tips for making the jobs easier.
9. There are toolkits designed for women. Frankly, I cannot for the life of me see the difference except for color. Functionality is the most important benefit in a tool. Color does not improve functionality.
When you get a divorce, it's often a call to unfold more of yourself, and for single mothers, home repair is just one area. Do research on the internet. The internet is today's library and contains up the minute advice on how to accomplish any project. You can if you think you can!
----------------------------------------------------
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
What Are the Easy Acoustic Songs For Guitar Beginners?
The way to look for an easy acoustic song for beginners is to find a song that has a low number of chords, such as 2. There are a ton of easy acoustic songs that have a small number of chords for you to play. There are sources on the Internet with songs, books, and magazines that will show you easy songs. The best thing is that there are all sorts of music available that is easy to play, from modern to classic.
The basic chords are A-major, C-major, and D. There are many songs available that contain these simple chords. Once you find a song that contains these chords, it will be simple for you to master the song. This will improve your guitar playing and practicing because it's fun to start hearing actual songs coming from the guitar.
If you are a beginner it is necessary to start with simple songs. A lot of players become anxious to learn more difficult songs. This can be a mistake if you are not ready to move on from the simple songs. To become a really good player you need time to progress. The best way to progress is to learn the basics first. Starting with easy songs will give you a great foundation in guitar. Then you will be able to move up to harder and harder songs.
One of the best ways to learn guitar is to start learning some classic rock songs. There are songs in the genre that are simple to learn. These will give you confidence in your playing ability. At some point in time you will be able to play harder songs, but at the start you need to learn the easy acoustic songs for beginners.
Playing guitar takes time and training. Your fingers need to get used to playing. That means you need to take it slow at first. If you try to play to fast as a beginner, you will get nowhere. Your fingers are not used to flying over the strings. There are a great number of artists that have written songs good for beginning players. Bands like Coldplay, Van Morrison, Tracy Chapman, and many country artists have songs that are easy to learn.
Beginners need to take effort to practice more. The bottom line is that learning guitar takes patience and dedication. To make your dedication easier, learn some easy acoustic songs.
----------------------------------------------------
Discover all the easiest guitar songs and resources for beginner at http://www.guitarlearninglesson.com
The basic chords are A-major, C-major, and D. There are many songs available that contain these simple chords. Once you find a song that contains these chords, it will be simple for you to master the song. This will improve your guitar playing and practicing because it's fun to start hearing actual songs coming from the guitar.
If you are a beginner it is necessary to start with simple songs. A lot of players become anxious to learn more difficult songs. This can be a mistake if you are not ready to move on from the simple songs. To become a really good player you need time to progress. The best way to progress is to learn the basics first. Starting with easy songs will give you a great foundation in guitar. Then you will be able to move up to harder and harder songs.
One of the best ways to learn guitar is to start learning some classic rock songs. There are songs in the genre that are simple to learn. These will give you confidence in your playing ability. At some point in time you will be able to play harder songs, but at the start you need to learn the easy acoustic songs for beginners.
Playing guitar takes time and training. Your fingers need to get used to playing. That means you need to take it slow at first. If you try to play to fast as a beginner, you will get nowhere. Your fingers are not used to flying over the strings. There are a great number of artists that have written songs good for beginning players. Bands like Coldplay, Van Morrison, Tracy Chapman, and many country artists have songs that are easy to learn.
Beginners need to take effort to practice more. The bottom line is that learning guitar takes patience and dedication. To make your dedication easier, learn some easy acoustic songs.
----------------------------------------------------
Discover all the easiest guitar songs and resources for beginner at http://www.guitarlearninglesson.com
What Are the Guitar Chords for Beginners to Learn?
Every beginner must learn basic guitar chords that will set the foundation of their playing. There are certain chords that need to be learned and mastered. These chords form the foundation of almost every song in guitar.
The list of basic guitar chords covers a wide range. From these chords it is simple to move on to different chords in guitar. These chords cover A, G, D, and C and are called open chords. These are a mixture of major and minor chords that are considered basic chords. These basic chords include C, D Major, D Minor, E, E Minor, G, F, A, and A Minor.
There are certain chord families. These chord families make it easier to learn and practice the basic chords. Chord family A includes: A, D, and E. Chord family D includes: D, Em, G, and A. Chord family G includes: G, Am, C, D, and Em. Chord family C includes: C, Dm, Em, F, and G.
If you attempt to memorize one chord family at a time, it will be much easier to learn guitar. Learning one family at a time will allow you to focus on a goal. It will also give your confidence a boost because you will be tackling something.
Make sure you know where your fingers are supposed to go with every chord. There are chord charts available that will show you where to place what fingers to make certain chords.
When you are practicing guitar it is easier to learn when playing songs. Make sure you look for songs that are easy to play and incorporate the chord family you are working on.
Make sure your equipment is in top shape. Guitar strings will wear down. Replace your strings when it is needed so they sound the best they can.
Practice, practice, and more practice is what are going to pull you to the top. There is absolutely no substitute for practicing.
Get the basics down first. Make sure you understand and can play all of the basic chords before you start getting into advanced territory. Furthermore, you have to practice the guitar chords consistently.
Learn some chord theory. The chord theory is the foundation to the guitar playing. Every great guitarist start their guitar learning schedule with the chord theory first. If you understand how chords go together, you can start making up your own music. This keeps learning guitar fun. Remember, most hit songs are comprised of basic chords.
----------------------------------------------------
Learn all the basic guitar chords for beginners at http://www.guitarlearninglesson.com
The list of basic guitar chords covers a wide range. From these chords it is simple to move on to different chords in guitar. These chords cover A, G, D, and C and are called open chords. These are a mixture of major and minor chords that are considered basic chords. These basic chords include C, D Major, D Minor, E, E Minor, G, F, A, and A Minor.
There are certain chord families. These chord families make it easier to learn and practice the basic chords. Chord family A includes: A, D, and E. Chord family D includes: D, Em, G, and A. Chord family G includes: G, Am, C, D, and Em. Chord family C includes: C, Dm, Em, F, and G.
If you attempt to memorize one chord family at a time, it will be much easier to learn guitar. Learning one family at a time will allow you to focus on a goal. It will also give your confidence a boost because you will be tackling something.
Make sure you know where your fingers are supposed to go with every chord. There are chord charts available that will show you where to place what fingers to make certain chords.
When you are practicing guitar it is easier to learn when playing songs. Make sure you look for songs that are easy to play and incorporate the chord family you are working on.
Make sure your equipment is in top shape. Guitar strings will wear down. Replace your strings when it is needed so they sound the best they can.
Practice, practice, and more practice is what are going to pull you to the top. There is absolutely no substitute for practicing.
Get the basics down first. Make sure you understand and can play all of the basic chords before you start getting into advanced territory. Furthermore, you have to practice the guitar chords consistently.
Learn some chord theory. The chord theory is the foundation to the guitar playing. Every great guitarist start their guitar learning schedule with the chord theory first. If you understand how chords go together, you can start making up your own music. This keeps learning guitar fun. Remember, most hit songs are comprised of basic chords.
----------------------------------------------------
Learn all the basic guitar chords for beginners at http://www.guitarlearninglesson.com
Radio Controlled Toys - Great Gifts for Children of All Ages
Radio controlled toys are great gifts for children. Remember back when you were a child. Playing in the yard or the park was always a blast. Think back and recall your favorite toys. Maybe it was a bike, or perhaps you had a great kite. Now think about your kids, and imagine the joy you'll bring to them when you give them a cool new radio controlled toy. These types of toys are especially popular for young boys. As kids, they look at the grownups driving cars, flying airplanes, and zooming around in helicopters. They want to imitate this adult life, and it is entirely possible.
Playing with radio controlled toys is one of the most fun things for young boys to do. They see helicopters and planes flying on their favorite television shows, and also in the real world. For many, it is a fantasy to be able to fly these amazing machines. We've all fantasized about flying, but you can let them get as close as possible to reality with certain toys. Believe it or not, radio controlled toys are really easy to use. They can be charged and then they are ready to go.
Maybe your son loves race cars. Get him a remote control and watch how much fun he has. He can let his imagination go free in the driveway, driving his toy car at high speeds to rush past the checkered flag in his mind. Perhaps your nephews are big fans of helicopters. With radio controlled toys, they can actually fly miniature version of the real thing! Take them to the park and sit back as they take flight. Other toys such as remote controlled boats, planes, and motorcycles are also great options.
We only get to be kids once. The time flies by, and they grow up in the blink of an eye. Make the most out of the time. Practically every young boy would absolutely love to have a radio controlled toy. You know that look of disappointment on their faces when they get a gift and it turns out to be socks or crayons. Get them something they'll really go crazy about. They will appreciate the fact that you care enough to give them something cool and fun. They'll be bragging to their friends for weeks about the awesome new toy they got. The truth is, even some adults like radio controlled toys, so try playing with them, and maybe you'll have some fun too.
----------------------------------------------------
To find out about the range of Radio Controlled toys visit our site. http://www.lc-online.net
Playing with radio controlled toys is one of the most fun things for young boys to do. They see helicopters and planes flying on their favorite television shows, and also in the real world. For many, it is a fantasy to be able to fly these amazing machines. We've all fantasized about flying, but you can let them get as close as possible to reality with certain toys. Believe it or not, radio controlled toys are really easy to use. They can be charged and then they are ready to go.
Maybe your son loves race cars. Get him a remote control and watch how much fun he has. He can let his imagination go free in the driveway, driving his toy car at high speeds to rush past the checkered flag in his mind. Perhaps your nephews are big fans of helicopters. With radio controlled toys, they can actually fly miniature version of the real thing! Take them to the park and sit back as they take flight. Other toys such as remote controlled boats, planes, and motorcycles are also great options.
We only get to be kids once. The time flies by, and they grow up in the blink of an eye. Make the most out of the time. Practically every young boy would absolutely love to have a radio controlled toy. You know that look of disappointment on their faces when they get a gift and it turns out to be socks or crayons. Get them something they'll really go crazy about. They will appreciate the fact that you care enough to give them something cool and fun. They'll be bragging to their friends for weeks about the awesome new toy they got. The truth is, even some adults like radio controlled toys, so try playing with them, and maybe you'll have some fun too.
----------------------------------------------------
To find out about the range of Radio Controlled toys visit our site. http://www.lc-online.net
The Childcare Struggle: How Do You Decide?
I was just surfing the internet and browsing through questions on a networking website that I belong to for working mothers. There were so many moms on this website asking the same question. "How do you make the decision about what to do with your children while you work?" The question came up many times and each time the answers were all very different. So with so many different answers, how do you decide?
My children are school-age now, and it makes it so much easier to work that I can't even imagine how I got it all done before when my three kids were home with me all day. Reading everyone's answers was bringing back memories of the times when I struggled with the decision to use day care centers, family day cares, nannies, or just work with them around.
As mothers, we all go through the same struggle over and over again. You know what the options are, but how do you know which one is right for your child? There is always the emotional battle in your head. You want a fulfilling business to grow as a person, yet you want to stay home for the children. You want to work from home to be there for the children, but you do get anything done when they are always striving for your attention. It is a constant dilemma both emotionally and physically. It is a common problem that many entrepreneurial and working mothers struggle with. How do mothers manage to decide the best course for their family?
I have been through it all. I have used day cares, nannies, babysitters, working at home with just myself and my children, using my husband as the provider when he can be available. My parents and in-laws all work, so that was never an option for me. I can't even tell you which option I liked the best. None of the options seemed to be just the right thing. They all had their pros and cons. Also, our decision changed every time we moved or had another child.
Each of our children was different. Our son craved the social atmosphere of day care. Our oldest daughter loved the one-on-one attention from a nanny. Our youngest daughter was only happy when I was spending time with her. She refused to like anyone else.
I also found that the location you live in makes a huge difference in the quality of care you can receive. We lived in a college town for a while and there were always smart college students willing to babysit in between their classes. In another area we lived in, I found a great family day care. The family day care worked really well because I could use it as a drop-in for my children. If I had a meeting with a client or a day when I just couldn't have the kids with me, then the family day care always had room for me to just drop them off. She was a lifesaver!
While reading the responses to people's questions regarding this topic, I was realizing that their answers were similar to the answers I would have given. It depends on what day care centers are near you. It depends on whether you are lucky to find that perfect nanny. It depends on the nature of your business and on your personality. Some people can work with kids playing in the background, and others just cannot get used to it.
I personally found that a mixture of everything worked well for us. Sometimes I had a nanny. When my youngest was really small, I just cut way down on my hours for a while working only at night, got rid of the nanny, and played with the kids all day. Those were the years where my husband watched them for a few hours a day while I snuck down into my basement office and cranked away.
I think the key to making it work is to realize that you need to be flexible, and you need to find care providers that can be flexible. You will always need that backup care provider or backup plan for days when your child is sick, or you have a meeting that happens to fall outside of your care provider's regular hours. What happens when your nanny wants a day off? Find yourself multiple options. Learn what makes your child happy. Follow what your heart is telling you. You cannot be successful at a business if your heart is telling you that you made the wrong decision with your child. They are young only once. Nurture them and watch them grow. If everyone is happy, then the decision was the right one for your family.
----------------------------------------------------
Kimberly Reddington, founder of CereusWomen.com, teaches moms how to turn their skills and talents into a successful home-based service business and to find a balance between their business and their family. Discover Kim's popular special report by visiting http://www.CereusWomen.com
My children are school-age now, and it makes it so much easier to work that I can't even imagine how I got it all done before when my three kids were home with me all day. Reading everyone's answers was bringing back memories of the times when I struggled with the decision to use day care centers, family day cares, nannies, or just work with them around.
As mothers, we all go through the same struggle over and over again. You know what the options are, but how do you know which one is right for your child? There is always the emotional battle in your head. You want a fulfilling business to grow as a person, yet you want to stay home for the children. You want to work from home to be there for the children, but you do get anything done when they are always striving for your attention. It is a constant dilemma both emotionally and physically. It is a common problem that many entrepreneurial and working mothers struggle with. How do mothers manage to decide the best course for their family?
I have been through it all. I have used day cares, nannies, babysitters, working at home with just myself and my children, using my husband as the provider when he can be available. My parents and in-laws all work, so that was never an option for me. I can't even tell you which option I liked the best. None of the options seemed to be just the right thing. They all had their pros and cons. Also, our decision changed every time we moved or had another child.
Each of our children was different. Our son craved the social atmosphere of day care. Our oldest daughter loved the one-on-one attention from a nanny. Our youngest daughter was only happy when I was spending time with her. She refused to like anyone else.
I also found that the location you live in makes a huge difference in the quality of care you can receive. We lived in a college town for a while and there were always smart college students willing to babysit in between their classes. In another area we lived in, I found a great family day care. The family day care worked really well because I could use it as a drop-in for my children. If I had a meeting with a client or a day when I just couldn't have the kids with me, then the family day care always had room for me to just drop them off. She was a lifesaver!
While reading the responses to people's questions regarding this topic, I was realizing that their answers were similar to the answers I would have given. It depends on what day care centers are near you. It depends on whether you are lucky to find that perfect nanny. It depends on the nature of your business and on your personality. Some people can work with kids playing in the background, and others just cannot get used to it.
I personally found that a mixture of everything worked well for us. Sometimes I had a nanny. When my youngest was really small, I just cut way down on my hours for a while working only at night, got rid of the nanny, and played with the kids all day. Those were the years where my husband watched them for a few hours a day while I snuck down into my basement office and cranked away.
I think the key to making it work is to realize that you need to be flexible, and you need to find care providers that can be flexible. You will always need that backup care provider or backup plan for days when your child is sick, or you have a meeting that happens to fall outside of your care provider's regular hours. What happens when your nanny wants a day off? Find yourself multiple options. Learn what makes your child happy. Follow what your heart is telling you. You cannot be successful at a business if your heart is telling you that you made the wrong decision with your child. They are young only once. Nurture them and watch them grow. If everyone is happy, then the decision was the right one for your family.
----------------------------------------------------
Kimberly Reddington, founder of CereusWomen.com, teaches moms how to turn their skills and talents into a successful home-based service business and to find a balance between their business and their family. Discover Kim's popular special report by visiting http://www.CereusWomen.com
How To Know Who Your Daughter Is Talking To
If you're like most parents, you're concerned about the people your daughter is hanging out with and talking to. And if your kid is like most other teenagers out there, she is talking on her cell phone constantly. If you've noticed anything in her behavior that gives you cause for concern you probably want to know who she's spending time with.
In the old days, aka When We Grew Up, it was a lot easier to keep tabs on kids. It seemed like everyone in the community sort of raised each other's kids and kept an eye out for them. But now things are different. If you want to know what's up with your child, you're going to have to do the work yourself. However, those no reason you can't get a little help.
A lot of people don't realize that they can look up almost any phone number in the country and get the name, address, and more information about the person on the other end of the line. For parents, this type of service is indispensable. But how do you do it.
Well, you can go through the phone company, but get ready for a lot of red tape. They like to keep their hands on their own info and don't necessarily see why what you're doing is so important. You might get through to them, but it's doubtful. On the other hand, it's much easier to use an online service to help you with this.
All you have to do is go to a Reverse Lookup site and enter the phone number you're trying to find out about. Here's a word of caution, though. Be prepared to spend a few dollars on this. There are some so-called free services out there, but they generally won't give you the info you really want, the name and address of the person you're tracking down, unless you pay up. You're better off using a reputable, paid service. Most of them have rates for a single lookup or a subscription service that allows for more than one.
To me, the peace of mind I got was worth the small amount it cost for a lookup. I think you'll find that true for yourself as well. It's easy and takes just a few minutes. In the world we live in, you can't be too careful. Take a few minutes and equip yourself to help your child.
----------------------------------------------------
I looked up my daughter's calls at http://www.ReverseCellLookupSite.com . You should, too.
In the old days, aka When We Grew Up, it was a lot easier to keep tabs on kids. It seemed like everyone in the community sort of raised each other's kids and kept an eye out for them. But now things are different. If you want to know what's up with your child, you're going to have to do the work yourself. However, those no reason you can't get a little help.
A lot of people don't realize that they can look up almost any phone number in the country and get the name, address, and more information about the person on the other end of the line. For parents, this type of service is indispensable. But how do you do it.
Well, you can go through the phone company, but get ready for a lot of red tape. They like to keep their hands on their own info and don't necessarily see why what you're doing is so important. You might get through to them, but it's doubtful. On the other hand, it's much easier to use an online service to help you with this.
All you have to do is go to a Reverse Lookup site and enter the phone number you're trying to find out about. Here's a word of caution, though. Be prepared to spend a few dollars on this. There are some so-called free services out there, but they generally won't give you the info you really want, the name and address of the person you're tracking down, unless you pay up. You're better off using a reputable, paid service. Most of them have rates for a single lookup or a subscription service that allows for more than one.
To me, the peace of mind I got was worth the small amount it cost for a lookup. I think you'll find that true for yourself as well. It's easy and takes just a few minutes. In the world we live in, you can't be too careful. Take a few minutes and equip yourself to help your child.
----------------------------------------------------
I looked up my daughter's calls at http://www.ReverseCellLookupSite.com . You should, too.
Inscription à :
Articles (Atom)
